Got a late start, we didn’t get to the trailhead until 11 am. It was so hot that I was sweating just sitting in the car. My girlfriend was digging around in the trunk, getting her gear together. The parking lot was full, so we had to park down at Beacon Rock. The pay station was out of order and my smallest bill was a twenty. I tried to pay by phone, but phone was on the fritz. So while I was repeatedly pounded the same spot on an unresponsive screen, I started to cry. The frustration had gotten to me and I had a small panic attack.
I felt the rush of adrenaline hit its peak, while hot tears ran down my face. My girlfriend came over to my side of the car to see what was wrong. She looked confused, I probably snapped at her, and then she told me not to worry about the parking pass, that she would take care of it. Money in hand she headed down the road to figure out the parking situation. She came back a few minutes later having sorted the whole situation.
Typically I’m not the type of person to flips out over a bad parking experience. I’m usually unflappable in the face of inconvenience, a skill I have built up over the past few decades of being a middle child. Coming down off the high of the anxiety, I took a deep breath. I was disappointed in myself for getting so worked up over such a little situation. The last time I freaked out this hard, I just been laid-off from my job. These two situations are not on the same level.
Now was I really stressed out about the parking, probably not. A hundred little things in life build up and then you have a melt down over parking. Some version of this has happened to just about everyone. I also know that a lot of people, myself included, use the their time in the outdoors to relax. So, it’s hard when the stresses of everyday life invade the small amount of time I’ve reserved for enjoying my passions.
Most of my time is spent working, running errands, trying to be responsible, which can be a little dull at times. But a few times a month I go on my little adventures and enjoy the silly, goofy person I am. Often I forget the silly part of me. I convince myself I’m just a person who sits at a desk for 8 hours a day and occasionally cries in really hot cars.
I make videos as a sort of meditation on the small, fun, exciting part of my life. To remind me of the person I can be. That I don’t aways have to be one type of person. Some days you’re on the top of a mountain, some days you’re crying in a hot car and sometimes it’s the same day.